I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
