Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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