i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
