THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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