Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
