My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
soo... how was my night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize