quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
