Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
