You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize