like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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