Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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