Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am available for nakedness
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
