Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
