this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
