The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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