I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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