somebody snuck up and got me drunk
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
