Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
