She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We are all done wearing pants today
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
