the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
