if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
two words: eviction party
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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