Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
