I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize