I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
