If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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