We're facebook friends in real life
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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