i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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