she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
