Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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