they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
