You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
