i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
