A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
