are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize