I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
