You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
