Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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