Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just sent this text using only my big toe
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
