I wannas sexs uuuuu
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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