Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
