He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
BRING THE BAGELS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
