Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
