dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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