I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
