that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
