Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
