i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
