these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
