i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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