I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
