what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
