Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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