I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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