I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
