i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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