you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
