I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
