his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
