Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
