i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
...so i touched it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
