Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
