But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
